HOW DRUNK DO YOU HAVE TO BE... TO GET HIT BY A TRAIN, AND NOT REALIZE IT...?

A drunk Canadian got hit by a train and didn't even realize it.

The guy was hammered and walking on the tracks after bar time. He was walking the same direction as the train and didn't hear the whistle.

The train couldn't stop and plowed into the guy who went flying through the air.

When he landed he got up and kept walking like nothing happened.

Cops found him later but the guy had no idea a train hit him.

He was in some pain so he went to the hospital.

Man walks out of Sears with 52-inch television

JENNY MICHAEL, Bismarck Tribune | Posted: Friday, February 4, 2011 1:38 pm

A Bismarck store says a man walked out of the store last week carrying a stolen 52-inch television.

Bismarck Police Sgt. Mark Buschena said loss prevention employees at Sears reported a man walked into the business on Jan. 26, cut a security cord on a display television, then walked out the door carrying the television in his arms.

The incident was reported on Thursday. The theft was caught on surveillance video.

Buschena said the man who stole the television is described as 5-feet-8-inches tall to 6-feet tall, 150 to 180 pounds, with a bald or shaved head.

The television is valued at $1,899.99.

FLASHING.... LIGHTS.... FLASHING.... LIGHTS......DRUNK-DRIVER PULLS HERSELF OVER

An Ohio woman who was too wasted to drive saw flashing lights on a sign, and thought they were police lights.

She pulled over and smashed her van into a snow bank.

A lady that stopped to see if she was alright noticed the driver was wasted and called the cops.

The woman was sitting alone in her van and refused to take a breathalyzer because she wasn't driving.